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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273748">Willow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/B0NUKA5/pseuds/B0NUKA5'>B0NUKA5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Minor Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Post-Canon, Post-KH3/KHMoM, There will be fluff, and lots of pining, but only in the beginning, mention of drinking (not in a bad way though), sora Struggles a little, sora realizing his feelings, they get to be teens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:42:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/B0NUKA5/pseuds/B0NUKA5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since the Destiny Islands almost fell to darkness, everything for Sora has been go, go, go. There were always heartless to kill, enemies to defeat, and worlds to save. But now, after Riku brought him back from Quadratum, Sora had time to rest and think about what really mattered to him.<br/>He had always told others to follow their heart. So why was he so nervous to take his own advice?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. invisible string</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey everyone! I've been a casual fan of Kingdom Hearts for a loooong time now, but a couple of months ago I stumbled across SoRiku theories on twitter and the SoRiku brain rot has been taking hold ever since. After scrolling through as seeing all the amazing work for SoRiku here on ao3 I decided, hey, I used to write, why don't I try to add something to the mix?</p><p>Also, I've been mildly obsessed with Taylor Swift's last two albums and I've been listening to them while I've been writing this, so the chapter titles are going be songs that I feel could be connected to what's happening. Very loosely though.</p><p>Hopefully you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>A feather-light press on his lips awoke him. The warmth spread from his lips, waking every nerve, every cell in his body with a light tingling feeling. His brain began to register the cool drips of rain on his skin, the sound of faraway cars honking, and the soft whistle of the breeze in his ears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sora,” a voice murmured, breath lingering against his lips. A deep voice, one that immediately calmed his soul and made him feel at peace. A hand cupped his cheek, the warmth comforting him.</em>
</p><p>Sora<em>, he thought. </em>That’s my name.</p><p>
  <em>Sora opened his eyes, greeted by the one face he could never forget. Skin paler than the sand of Destiny Islands. Hair silver as starlight. Turquoise eyes the exact shade of the clearest ocean. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Riku. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sora,” he repeated, crushing him into a hug. “Let’s go home.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep.</em> Sora came to consciousness accompanied by the noise of a heart rate monitor. He could vaguely feel the numerous stickers and needles attached to him. <em>What happened to me…?</em> He silently asked himself, opening his eyes.</p><p>He was in a hospital room, lit up by the early morning sunlight peeking in through the window as well as the monitor for his pulse. He sat up, beginning to panic, trying to figure out what world he was in <em>now</em>, when he spotted a mess of silver hair in the corner of his eye.</p><p>Riku was asleep in the chair next to him, a thin blanket covering his lap.</p><p>At the sight of him, Sora felt himself calm. If Riku was here, then he must be safe, wherever he was.</p><p>“Riku,” he said, barely above a whisper. He reached a weak arm out, just able to rest the pads of his fingers on Riku’s arm. “Riku,” he called out again, more like a croak this time.</p><p>Riku jumped awake at his touch, and Sora felt him tense and relax under his fingertips. “Sora, you’re awake,” he said, eyes widening and a smile washing over his features. He said it quietly, with a hint of awe in his voice, almost like he couldn’t believe it.</p><p>Sora pushed the thought out of his brain. “Riku, where are we?” He asked instead, scooting so he could sit up. His body felt so lethargic though; it took so much energy just to sit up a little bit. Riku got up and helped slide a pillow behind Sora’s back to support him. Riku always knew what he needed, didn’t he?</p><p>Riku sat down on the bed at Sora’s knees. “We’re back at Radiant Garden,” he explained, his face falling. “You were frozen in ice, Sora. It sapped all of the strength out of you. I basically had to carry you back,” he quipped, but it was clear that even though that last comment was supposed to lighten the mood a bit, the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Ienzo’s been looking after you here, and the rest of us have been trying to help.”</p><p><em>Everyone’s been worried about me?</em> God, Sora <em>hated</em> the thought of making people worry about him. But he couldn’t exactly tell Riku <em>not</em> to worry about him, though, not when he could barely sit up on his own. <em>And frozen in ice…</em> He vaguely remembers that happening, fighting with Yozora until his limbs couldn’t take it anymore. He winced. “Where’s Kairi and everyone else?”</p><p>Riku’s face fell, no longer meeting Sora’s eyes. “They’re, um, around the castle. I’ll tell Ienzo and Kairi that you’re awake.” Riku got up from the bed. “I’m sure they’ll be excited to hear that you’re okay.”</p><p>As he watched Riku leave, Sora couldn’t miss the feeling of a chill settling over him. He thought about calling out to Riku and asking him to stay, but he figured that it would probably be a good idea for him to tell the others that he was awake. With a sigh, he removed the pillow from behind him and lay back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>Ienzo came in to check on him first. His vitals were fine, and Sora told him that he was doing fine mentally, too, even though he really hadn’t given much thought to it yet. Ienzo even had him sitting up and slowly walking around the room for a few minutes to gauge his strength.</p><p>                A few minutes after Ienzo left, Kairi came to visit. She sat down in the chair next to Sora’s bed, taking his hand in hers. “Sora, I missed you so much,” she told him. “I wish I could have been there in Quadratum to save you. To fulfill my promise to protect you.”</p><p>                <em>Quadratum, huh?</em> Sora thought. He had never connected a name to the place where he had been banished. “It’s okay,” he reassured her. “I know you’ve been helping however you can.” He squeezed her hand. “How long was I gone, anyway?”</p><p>                Kairi gave him a small smile. “It’s been over a year since you disappeared,” she explained, and a hitch in her voice signaled that she was close to tears. “We’ve all been so worried about you.”</p><p>                “Oh, Kairi, don’t cry. I’m here now, aren’t I?” Sora smiled as wide as he could, and he saw Kairi’s face lighten up a little.</p><p>                Before he knew it, Kairi had let go of his hand and leaned over to hug him. It was awkward, and he had to sit up and lean forward uncomfortably to hug her back. When she broke the hug, she sat back down and smiled. “Now, don’t do anything stupid like that again,” she joked, and the two of them laughed.</p><p>                <em>I missed this so much</em>, Sora thought. For the past couple of years, he’d been endlessly fighting something or someone, with almost no room for rest. No time to catch up with friends, to check in with himself. And then, Kairi’s words started to come back to him. <em>I was gone for another </em>year<em>. Now that’s two years of my life I’ve missed out on!</em> And that made him what, sixteen now? Was he ever going to be able to be a normal teenager at this rate? He felt his smile fade away at the thought.</p><p>                “What’s wrong?” Kairi asked.</p><p>                “I feel like I’ve missed out on so much of my life,” he sighed. “I spent a year asleep in a giant egg and then another in Quadratum.” <em>And made Riku save me both times</em>, he almost added, but he didn’t want to make Kairi feel guilty.</p><p>                “Well, when you’re feeling better, we can go back to Destiny Islands and do whatever you want.”</p><p>                Sora nodded. He liked the sound of that.</p><p> </p><p>It was a month before Ienzo and Master Yen Sid deemed Sora healthy enough to travel. And, just as Kairi said, Sora, Kairi, and Riku returned to the Destiny Islands.</p><p>                As he walked out of the gummi ship, Sora felt the warm, early-summer breeze on his face, and he immediately felt at home. <em>I missed it here</em>, he thought, looking back at Riku and Kairi, who were still gathering their things. <em>I’m so glad I got to come back with them</em>. “C’mon guys, let’s go,” he said, unable to help the giant smile on his face.</p><p>                “So bossy,” Kairi teased, stepping out onto the beach. She shoved him playfully as she walked by.</p><p>                “What are we going to do with you?” Riku followed up from behind. Sora couldn’t help but watch as Riku walked out from the ship, his muscles flexing as he hefted his suitcase over his shoulder. <em>How did his arms get so muscle-y?</em> He thought as the other boy caught up.</p><p>The two walked together over to the docks, where Kairi was waiting. “You guys ready?” she asked, putting her bag in one of the boats.</p><p>“You bet,” Sora said, following her lead.</p><p> </p><p>The three of them reached the main island at sunset. Sora’s house was the nearest to the beach out of the three of them, so they all walked to Sora’s house together. They walked in silence, and Sora used the quiet to soak in his surroundings. He hadn’t been sure whether or not he was going to ever see this place again, and now that he was here, he didn’t want to miss a single thing about it. The light of the fireflies, the chirps of the cicadas, the warm breeze coming off of the ocean- he couldn’t believe he ever got sick of it before his adventures. <em>I guess you don’t know what you’ve lost until you’ve lost it</em>, he thought. Sure, Destiny Islands wasn’t “lost” anymore, but he felt the sentiment all the same.</p><p>                And there it was: Sora’s house, with white panels and light blue shutters. A long porch stretched across the front of it, complete with hanging plants, rocking chairs, and lights. Freshly manicured bushes sat on either side of the stairs, hibiscus buds waiting to bloom. The old wood of the stairs creaked as the trio walked up to the porch.</p><p>                Anxiety came crashing down on Sora as he reached the storm door. What was he going to say to his parents when they opened the door? Should he even try to explain what happened to him? Should he make something up? Would his parents be angry with him for leaving for a second time? Would they punish him for it? How much grief had he caused them this time?</p><p>                A calming hand resting on his shoulder brought Sora back to the present. “Sora, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Riku said.</p><p>                “Yeah, we don’t mind staying somewhere else if you’re not ready,” Kairi added.</p><p>                “No, I should do this,” Sora replied, his heart in his throat. He threw open the storm door and knocked on the main door before he could change his mind.</p><p>                There was shuffling and hushed voices on the other side, and each second stretched out to an eternity in Sora’s mind. After what felt like hours, the door opened to reveal Sora’s mother. “Sora! Riku! Kairi! How was your study abroad trip?” She asked, giving them all hugs.</p><p>                <em>Oh right, that’s how I covered for my Mark of Mastery Exam</em>. “It was great, Mom,” Sora replied, the butterflies in his stomach easing a little.</p><p>                Sora’s mother led them all inside to the living room, where Sora’s father was standing by the couch. “Sora!” He greeted, hugging his son. He shook Riku’s hand and gave Kairi a wave.</p><p>                The trio shuffled over to the couch, Sora sitting between Riku and Kairi. “It’s great to be back home, though,” Kairi said, looking over at Sora and Riku.</p><p>                “I bet it is,” Sora’s mother replied. “Are you kids hungry? Sora’s dad and I just ordered pizza a little while ago; it should be here soon.”</p><p>                Sora was hoping for one of his mother’s home-cooked meals, but he wasn’t about to turn down pizza.</p><p>                “Sounds good,” he and Riku said at the same time.</p><p>                The two exchanged bewildered looks while the others laughed. Sora knew that he and Riku could share their thoughts and feelings with each other down the Dream Eater bond, but the two of them weren’t in sync enough to speak simultaneously. <em>Probably a coincidence</em>, he thought, smiling. Riku smiled, too, and the sight of Riku’s toothy smile gave Sora made his heart race. That was another thing Sora didn’t remember much- Riku smiling, and the way it made his insides go soft.</p><p>                “Well, let’s hope it gets here before the boys decide to raid the fridge,” Sora’s dad joked, and the room erupted in laughter a second time.</p><p> </p><p>Sora made sure to give Kairi and Riku bear hugs when they left after dinner. He practically just got back to them; how could they leave him so soon?</p><p>                After they left, Sora carried his things upstairs to his bedroom. All of his things were virtually untouched. Comic books filled the bookshelf, action figures littered his desk, his closet had clothes spilling out of it, and his video game console was still blinking at him from the dresser.</p><p>                Sora sighed and flipped the light switch on. <em>Guess I should unpack,</em> he decided, throwing his suitcase on his bed with a <em>thump</em>. There wasn’t much to unpack. On his adventures, Sora needed only the bare minimum. There was no time to read comics or play video games. So, the contents of his suitcase reflected that. He threw some of his clothes in his closet and some in the dresser. He picked up the clothes on the floor and threw them into the hamper. He grabbed his toothbrush and put it back in the holder in the bathroom sink. He shoved the empty suitcase under his bed.</p><p>                Now that everything was unpacked, Sora didn’t know what to do with himself. All of his comics were about superheroes saving the day- too close to his last adventure for him to enjoy. He was too old to play with his figurines. Thinking about playing video games reminded him of Yozora and Verum Rex, which was, again, too similar to his last adventure to enjoy.</p><p>                Really, what are you supposed to do with yourself after you’ve saved the world three times and then basically came back from the dead?</p><p>                So, Sora ended up laying down on the bed, gummiphone on his stomach, staring up at the ceiling.</p><p>                “Sora, honey? Is something wrong?” His mother asked from the doorway, making him jump.</p><p>                “Bored,” he replied, not taking his eyes off of the ceiling.</p><p>                “I know it must be weird to be home after a long trip.” Sora’s mother walked in, sitting at the edge of Sora’s bed. “You know you can let us know if anything’s bothering you, right? We’ll always be here.”</p><p>                “I know, Mom.” Sora looked over at her and smiled weakly.</p><p>                “I’m glad you have Riku and Kairi to look out for you.” Sora’s mom sighed. “Kairi’s such a nice girl. Why don’t you two go out somewhere tomorrow? Get reacclimated to the islands?”</p><p>                <em>I could probably get myself reacclimated with Riku just as well</em>, Sora caught himself thinking. But he guessed it didn’t really matter who he hung out with. “Fine,” he said, pulling out his gummiphone. He sent Kairi a quick text, and within a few minutes, the two had plans to go to the mall the next day.</p><p>                “Good,” Sora’s mother said, getting up from the bed. “I’m going to go back downstairs to watch a movie with your father. Come down if you feel like it, okay?”</p><p>                “Okay.”</p><p>                Sora’s mother left, leaving the door open for him.</p><p>                Sora continued lying on his bed. He didn’t really feel like going downstairs at all. Now that he had gotten through the excitement of coming back home and seeing his parents again, he didn’t really feel like doing much of <em>anything</em>. He wished he could cancel his plans with Kairi, but that wouldn’t be fair to her. <em>Maybe I should try going to bed</em>, he thought, looking over to his bedside clock. The symbols <em>8:38 PM</em> glowed back at him. <em>No, it’s too early for that,</em> he thought.</p><p>                He spent the next few hours scrolling through Kingstagram. Kairi had posted selfies of her, Sora, and Riku eating pizza on Sora’s couch with the caption <em>livin’ the island dream</em> with some sun and palm tree emojis. Mickey had commented <em>Glad you guys made it home safe!</em> Next, he saw Aqua, Terra, and Ventus in Disney Town, swiping through pictures of them racing and playing fruitball with the locals. Roxas had posted a picture of the sunset from the Twilight Town clocktower, and Xion had commented <em>I missed sunsets so much.</em> Namine’s art was every few posts, and every picture had hundreds of likes on it.</p><p>                Sora continued scrolling through until he found pictures from what must have been the day he and Riku came back from Quadratum. It looked like everyone had a party. Aerith posted a picture of the cake she had baked, and Yuffie had taken a picture of the table spread. There were multiple pictures of people laughing, crying, eating, and drinking; Roxas had posted a video of Axel, propped up by Isa, yelling “Yeah, <em>fuck</em> you, Xehanort,” his words slurring enough to the point where they were almost incomprehensible, before the camera panned back to Roxas sticking his tongue out.</p><p>                And then there was Riku.</p><p>                There was one picture, posted by Aqua, that showed Riku’s face clearly. It was actually supposed to be a picture of Terra and Ventus posing by Aerith’s cake, but Riku was in the background, leaning against the doorway looking into another room, a big grin on his face. It was like the one Riku had given him earlier before dinner, but even brighter, like he was admiring something he liked and was <em>proud</em> of it. And Sora didn’t know what to think. He checked the comments to see what the others had to say.</p><p>                <em>Omg, is that Riku SMILING????</em> Kairi had commented with a ton of surprised emojis.</p><p>                <em>Aww, Riku’s smile is so cute. If only he smiled when he wasn’t looking at Sora, too</em> was Namine’s response.</p><p>                But what did it mean? Sora put down his gummiphone, confused. Riku didn’t smile when Sora was in Quadratum? At all? He thought about calling him to ask, but he didn’t know how he would broach the topic. <em>What other comments are there?</em></p><p>                Roxas: <em>Ugh, gross, Riku’s PINING</em>, along with some vomit emojis.</p><p>                Olette: <em>@Rox13 I think it’s cute!</em></p><p>                Sora took another look at Riku’s face in the picture. <em>He does have a nice smile, but that doesn’t mean he’s pining,</em> he reasoned, getting up and turning off the light. <em>If he felt like that, he’d tell me.</em></p><p>                <em>But what if he does?</em> The thought came unbidden to him as he changed into his pajamas. Sora shook his head as he climbed into bed as if trying to physically shake the thought from his brain. <em>Don’t be ridiculous,</em> he countered again. But it didn’t stop the butterflies from rising in his stomach, making it impossible for him to relax. <em>He was just excited to see you. He was just excited to see you. He was just excited to see you,</em> he told himself, over and over again. He knew the obvious answer was to call Riku and ask, but what would he even ask? <em>Hey, Riku, why were you smiling in this one picture from a month ago?</em> God, it was so stupid. <em>It’s not a big deal</em>, he told himself.</p><p>                So why did he spend all night thinking about it?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ivy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sora hangs out with Kairi and learns that maybe his friendships have changed more than he thought.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sora’s mother dropped Sora and Kairi off at the mall after lunchtime, and Sora’s nerves were kicking into high gear as soon as he and Kairi walked through the main doors. He had forgotten what it was like to be in a mall, with all of the people milling around and talking, their big shopping bags bumping into their legs as they wandered aimlessly about. Sora could feel himself freezing up, overwhelmed.</p>
<p>                Thankfully, Kairi was there with a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”</p>
<p>                Sora flashed her a smile, trying to cover up his nerves. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>                Kairi folded her arms and <em>hummed</em> to herself as if she was trying to come up with an idea. “I know where we should start,” she said once something came to mind. She grabbed Sora’s wrist. “C’mon, let’s go!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bookstore may not have been Sora’s favorite store, but he was grateful for the peace and quiet. Kairi had let go of his wrist when they entered, and the two of them started walking up and down the aisles.</p>
<p>                “There was this book I read a few years ago,” Kairi started when they reached the young adult section. “It was a fantasy novel with princes and princesses and knights and dragons. There was this evil sorcerer that they had to fight, and- oh! Here’s a special edition.” She grabbed a book off of the shelf. It was heavy, and it advertised having special artwork on the inside. Kairi opened it up and leafed through the pages, her eyes widening as they took in the artwork. “Anyway, the reason why I thought it was interesting is that this time, the prince falls in love with the <em>knight</em>.” She turned so Sora could see the book easier. “They had this special link where they could sense each other’s feelings, and they could link up their magic attacks to make them stronger. It was <em>so cute</em>! I <em>wish</em> I could have a relationship like that!”</p>
<p>                <em>A link where they can sense each other’s emotions… like me and Riku’s dream eater link?</em> He tugged on the link, reassuring himself that it was still there. Riku hadn’t sent anything down the link recently, and Sora had almost forgotten about it. <em>I hope Riku isn’t mad that I forgot about it.</em> As if hearing Sora’s thoughts, Sora felt a light tug on the other side of the bond, enough to let him know that, yes, the bond was still working, even after being frozen in Quadratum.</p>
<p>                Now, what was that Kairi had said about the bond? <em>Kairi thinks the bond is romantic?</em> Sora didn’t think so. But then again, he really hadn’t had time to contemplate it. <em>I guess it means that our hearts are connected more than with other people. And since Riku’s my dream eater, he fights my nightmares</em>. But Sora protected his friends from the Heartless in real life. Was Riku fighting Sora’s nightmares while he slept that different?</p>
<p>                His gummiphone’s ringtone snapped him out of his thoughts. He fished it out of his pockets, and Kairi looked over from her book out of curiosity.</p>
<p>                It was Riku.</p>
<p>                Sora could feel his heart rate pick up as he answered the call, and he told himself that it was because he wasn’t expecting it. “Riku!” He greeted, probably a bit too loud for the setting. He couldn’t help it; getting a call from Riku always made him happy. “What’s up?”</p>
<p>                “Sora, are you alright? I ran to your house after you tugged on the bond, but no one answered the door when I knocked,” Riku explained, and Sora’s stomach dropped at Riku’s concerned tone. He hadn’t meant to make Riku worry about him.</p>
<p>                “Yeah, I’m fine. Kairi and I are at the mall,” Sora explained, Kairi popping into frame and adding in a small “Hi, Riku” before going to put the book back on the shelf. “I, uh, just wanted to make sure the bond was working,” he said, finding himself stumbling over his words. “just because, um, we haven’t used it in a while, y’know? Yeah.”</p>
<p>                Riku looked like a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders. “Oh, thank God,” he replied, a smile spreading across his face. “Well, I’ll leave you two to whatever you’re doing.”</p>
<p>                <em>No, Riku, don’t go</em>, Sora thought, but he knew that he should be getting back to Kairi. She was looking very intently in the direction away from Sora, and he took it as a sign that she was ready to leave the store. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”</p>
<p>                “Have fun, Sora.”</p>
<p>                Sora shoved his gummiphone back into his pocket. When he looked back up at Kairi, her back was turned to him, and she was walking down the aisle without him. “Wait up, Kairi,” he teased, easily catching up.</p>
<p>                She very pointedly did not look at him.</p>
<p>                “Kairi?”</p>
<p>                Kairi stopped abruptly, and Sora thought he heard her sniff. “Why don’t we get a smoothie? I’m hungry,” she said.</p>
<p>                Sora thought about pointing out that they just had lunch before they came, but on second thought, decided to just follow her instead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They picked a small table for two in the food court. Despite it being the middle of the afternoon, the food court was packed with people ordering and eating lunch. Sora was surprised he even found them a spot.</p>
<p>                Kairi’s mind had been worlds away ever since the bookstore. It took the cashier at the smoothie shop three tries to get her attention to get her to order, and she completely missed when they called her name when her smoothie was ready. She could barely walk in a straight line to the food court, so Sora had to lead her there, a hand on her wrist.</p>
<p>                Sora was glad that Kairi spoke up about what was on her mind as soon as they sat down.</p>
<p>                “Sora, I have to tell you something,” she sighed, looking down at her strawberry smoothie.</p>
<p>                “What is it?” Sora took a sip from his banana smoothie, the seconds dragging out.</p>
<p>                “I…” Kairi stopped mid-sentence, frowning. Finally, she met his eyes and blurted, “I like you. Like, have a crush on you.”</p>
<p>                Sora, for his credit, did not choke on his smoothie. But he couldn’t help the pit that suddenly opened up in his stomach or the overwhelming sense of dread and panic that filled his nerves.</p>
<p>                “At first, when you saved me from Ansem and the Organization, and then after the war, when we were traveling to all those words to see everyone off, I thought you might feel the same way.” She sniffed, and even though Sora wanted to reach out to comfort her, he felt frozen in his spot. “But now I know that you don’t feel the same way about me. I know you didn’t mean to lead me on-“ she choked out a sob, and Sora had never had a stronger urge to hide. He wanted to fix the situation, but he knew he couldn’t.</p>
<p>                After all, she was right. He didn’t like her like that.</p>
<p>                She was a really close friend, one he’d sacrifice himself for, but no matter how much he tried to picture himself dating Kairi and getting married to Kairi, the idea just grossed him out. But how could he explain that to everyone else, who was expecting him, the hero, to fall in love with Kairi, the damsel in distress? Sometimes, at night, he’d plead to whatever gods were out there to make him like her. Before he disappeared, he spent as much time as he could with her, trying to convince himself that he could be happy spending his life with her. But deep down inside, he knew that he never would be.</p>
<p>                “I’m sorry,” he managed, pushing through the lump in his throat. “You’re right. I like you as a friend, Kairi, but I can’t - I don’t feel anything more.”</p>
<p>                Kairi nodded, and she opened her mouth as if to say something else but then closed it again. She wiped her tears on a napkin. “I just thought you deserved to know.”</p>
<p>                Now it was Sora’s turn to nod. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>                “Can we head back now?”</p>
<p>                “Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sora spent the car ride home turning over Kairi’s confession in his mind. How had she known that he didn’t like her like that? He didn’t remember ever saying anything about his feelings to her. And, surely, the dream eater bond wasn’t <em>that</em> romantic.</p>
<p>                At least, that’s what he kept telling himself in his mother’s side-view mirror.</p>
<p>                “Sora, honey, are you sure you’re okay?” His mother asked as they watched Kairi walk to her front door. “Did something happen?”</p>
<p>                Sora sighed but decided that there was no harm in saying something. He was never good at keeping things secret, anyway. “Kairi told me she liked me today,” he said, crossing his arms.</p>
<p>                “Oh, honey, that’s a <em>good</em> thing, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>                Sora shrugged. “I don’t feel that way,” he replied, looking down at his feet. <em>This</em> was why he didn’t want to tell people about his feelings. They made him feel like his feelings weren’t valid.</p>
<p>                “That’s okay, honey, you can’t force things like that.” He felt his mother’s touch on his shoulder. “There are plenty of other people out there.”</p>
<p>                He looked up at his mother to find her giving him a small, comforting smile, and he tried to return it. He wasn’t sure how successful he was. “Thanks.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sora found that his mood wasn’t any better after the short conversation with his mother. When he got home, he found himself flopping on the couch and turning on the television, needing a distraction. He flipped through the channels, looking for something interesting, but all of the channels were either playing the news, daytime talk shows, or some cheesy romantic movie he’s never heard of.</p>
<p>                He settled on one of the rom coms.</p>
<p>                As he watched, he couldn’t help but feel bad for the main character. She had returned to her hometown for a high school reunion and had ended up bumping into her old best friend. The two started going out on dates, but the main character refused to believe that she was getting feelings for him, even when she would call her friends from the city and talk about him for <em>hours</em>.</p>
<p>                The scene of the two characters kissing at the end sparked something in him. His mind fixed itself on one scene. Dark, rainy skies. Endless lights and car horns. Towering skyscrapers. Riku’s voice urging him to wake up. And the lightest press of lips on his, igniting his nerves and bringing him back to life.</p>
<p>                Sora wasn’t sure if it was a memory or a dream. In the month or so since he’d been awake, the scene would come back to him, with the haziness of a dream. He knew that it fit Riku’s descriptions of Quadratum, so he knew that he was there at some point, but this particular memory seemed so distant that he had almost convinced himself that he had simply dreamed it.</p>
<p>                Almost. Except for the very real feeling of someone’s soft lips on his.</p>
<p>                Sora could feel it ghosting his lips right now, on the couch, and the feeling sent waves of tingles down his spine.</p>
<p>                Riku was the one who had gone to Quadratum to save him. Which meant that if it <em>was</em> real, then Riku had <em>kissed</em> him. But that didn’t make any sense. Riku wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of person. Sora was always the one to initiate hugs and things like that between them. Kissing Sora would have been completely out of character for him. Not to mention, it would have meant that Riku had feelings for Sora. And Sora would have known that by now.</p>
<p>                But he hadn’t known about Kairi’s feelings. And he knew he was known for being more than a little oblivious.</p>
<p>                Sora shook his head, trying to push the thought out of his mind. <em>Probably just some stupid dream,</em> he thought. <em>You’re just imagining things.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sora found himself tossing and turning that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kairi’s confession and what it meant for their friendship. Should he reach out and ask her how she was doing? He didn’t want to make her feel any worse, though.</p>
<p>                Maybe Riku would know what to do. Sora reached out across the bond, and when he felt a tug back, he turned on his bedside lamp and grabbed his gummiphone.</p>
<p>                “Hey, Riku,” Sora greeted in a low voice, rolling over onto his stomach.</p>
<p>                “Hey, Sora,” Riku replied. He was lying on his side, and his hair was a bit messy, as if he had been tossing around as well. Sora found himself thinking it was cute like that. He also couldn’t help noticing Riku’s broad shoulders in the frame. He felt himself blush as Riku smiled and added, “What’s up?”</p>
<p>                 The question brought Sora back to reality. He frowned. “Well, you know how Kairi and I were at the mall earlier? She kind of…” he trailed off, suddenly embarrassed. Why was he telling Riku this anyway? Riku probably couldn’t care less about his love life.</p>
<p>                 “Kind of what?” Riku asked, shifting onto his back. Sora couldn’t help but notice the way Riku’s collarbones were suddenly visible as his shirt shifted with the movement. <em>What is happening to me?</em></p>
<p>                 “She told me she liked me. Like in a romantic way.” Sora sighed. “I’ve been trying for so long to have feelings for her, but I don’t. Even after I’ve saved her three <em>fucking</em> times. I told Mom about it, and she says I can’t force stuff like that, and I <em>know</em> that, but now I don’t know if I’ve completely ruined our friendship. I still want to be friends with her, you know? But I feel like I’ve wrecked it because we don’t see each other in the same way.”</p>
<p>                 “Oh, Sora,” Riku breathed, and the sound of his voice made Sora’s insides warm. “I think you just need to give her a little time and space. I’m sure you guys can hang out again soon.” He shifted to put his free hand behind his head, giving Sora a glimpse of his bicep. “She knows it’s not something you can help. No hard feelings.”</p>
<p>                 Sora felt himself smile again. “Thanks.” But even though he had already talked about his reason for calling, he still felt like he had more to say on the subject. “Hey, Riku?”</p>
<p>                 “Yes, Sora?” Riku gave him a playful smile.</p>
<p>                 Sora swallowed and dropped his voice to just barely above a whisper. Even though his parents were asleep across the hall, he didn’t want to risk them hearing this. “What if I’ve never liked any girls I’ve met? Like that?” He couldn’t bring himself to meet Riku’s eyes. What if Riku thought he was weird for saying that? For feeling like that?</p>
<p>                 “To tell you the truth, Sora, I’ve struggled with that too.” At that, Sora turned to see Riku blushing, and Sora could feel a little bit of weight lift off of his shoulders. <em>At least I’m not alone.</em> “I learned to accept it. It’s just something that’s a part of you.” Riku gave him a small smile.</p>
<p>                 Sora smiled back. “Yeah. I mean, I guess it’s just something I haven’t really had time to think about until recently, you know? And like, I would go to all of these worlds and watch people fall in love, but I could never really get it. I remember Eugene talking about how much he liked her, and I could understand that she was pretty, but it was kind of more in a way you’d think a painting is pretty. But, like, with Hercules and Tarzan, I always found myself <em>looking</em> at them. Am I even explaining this right?” He chuckled nervously.</p>
<p>                 “Yeah, I get what you mean,” Riku replied, laughing. The sound was like music in Sora’s ears, and he couldn’t help but watch the upturn of Riku’s lips. <em>I wonder what it would feel like to kiss him</em>, he wondered, unable to stop himself.</p>
<p>                 “Riku, have you ever had a crush on anyone?” he asked, a wave of courage coming from nowhere.</p>
<p>                 Riku’s laughter died down, but his smile didn’t completely fade. “Yeah, I have.”</p>
<p>                 “Really?” Sora felt a tug at the back of his mind like his brain was trying to tell him something, but he couldn’t pay attention because of the pit that opened up in his stomach.</p>
<p>                 Riku hesitated like he was going to say something and changed his mind. “Hey, Sora, it’s getting pretty late. I should probably go to sleep soon,” he said instead, glancing at his clock.</p>
<p>                 “Oh,” Sora replied, feeling like someone had thrown a cold bucket of water on him. “Goodnight, Riku.”</p>
<p>                 “Goodnight, Sora.”</p>
<p>                 Sora turned off his lamp and his gummiphone, and the room suddenly felt dark and lonely, even with the moonlight streaming in through the window. And Sora couldn’t figure out why he felt so sad.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It feels like a crime for Sora to mention thinking Tarzan is attractive but I cannot get the line from the KH1 novel out of my head where he literally thinks to himself "Tarzan is /strong/"</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you want to follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/B0NUKA5">twitter</a>! I don't use it for just KH though, so if you follow me you're probably going to see a lot of space-related things!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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